I never knew how it felt to be abandoned
I didn't know the capacity to which it could devour my being
You see, it all started when I met him
He had eyes that could burn holes into ones membrane
I didn't know how valuable he would be to my existence
It would be during our journey into each other's souls, that I'd find out the importance of him being in my life.
He was something like a thief in the night except that he wasn't the confident thief he was more of the novice who was on his first night on the job.
We caught each other by surprise
Instead of turning him in, we became cohorts
Instead of him becoming a prisoner of the law, He became a prisoner of my soul
I enlightened him and showed him how to live in an honest world
Although the world we live in isn't honest, the one he and I created was nothing but honest.
He opened up my eyes to an ambience I never cared for.
For hours on end we'd converse about our deepest fears and truths we wished we could ignore.
He was the reason for my existence, so I thought.
The confidence I had in him was unimaginable.
I'm rarely one to believe in happily ever afters but with him at my side, I believed an eternity of happily ever afters existed.
Why I feel abandoned is not because we're no longer in sync.
But because my mind no longer receives the cerebral "fixes" it needs to remain in a state of eternal ecstasy.
You see he had a way with words that not only made your soul burn with desire but it caused instant and spontaneous orgasms of the mind.
He wasn't a smooth operator, he didn't conceal his thoughts with ideological condoms.
He gave it to me raw and my soul went into a state of euphoria every single time he did.
To be abandoned has nothing to do with the physical sense but everything to do with the subconscious.
For a mind who was once satisfied to the point where it could no longer tell whether I was the owner or he was the owner of my mind to have to go to a state of complete silence, is what you call abandonment.
For a mind that was fucked every second to be forced into celibacy, is what you call abandonment.
I never knew how it felt to be abandoned.
It all started when I met him........